they look fine.
that’s the problem.
Most people ask it in a way that’s built to get a no. Ask it openly and four times as many people tell you the truth.
First names only. Use one he’d be alright seeing.
the method
six moves. three minutes.
side by side · ask it openly · ask again · say nothing · offer one thing · text him tuesday
You don’t have to be good at this.
where we are
three numbers, then we’ll stop.
We’re not going to bury you in statistics. But you should see these ones next to each other, because together they explain the whole thing.
91%
Nine in ten men who died by suicide had already been in contact with a frontline service. They showed up.
NCISH · male suicides aged 40–54, 2017 · case series
4×
Asked the usual way — “you haven’t been feeling down, have you?” — 9.7% tell you the truth. Asked openly, 38.1% do.
McCabe et al. 2017 · UK consultations · observational
1/3 3/4
Men are about a third of talking-therapy referrals and roughly three-quarters of suicides. When they do attend, their outcomes match women’s.
NHS Talking Therapies · ONS · routine statistics
A word that hides it, and a door nobody walked them through. Neither is fixed by knowing about it. The full numbers, and the case against our own framing, are on the evidence map.
the biggest killer. and a word that hides it.
the idea
four ways to get a no. one that doesn’t.
Same man, same room, same day — the only thing that changes is the question. The first four are built to be answered “no”. Only the last one actually asks.
Three-quarters of the time we ask it in a way designed to be answered “no”. Asked openly instead: 3.93× the disclosure. McCabe et al., 2017.
you haven’t been feeling down, have you?
9.7%
you’re not depressed or anything?
9.7%
nothing’s wrong, is it?
9.7%
you alright?
9.7%
“how are you doing with all this?”
38.1%
side by side. ask it openly. shut up. come back tuesday.
the build
three things. everything else is a distraction.
Nothing here is finished, and we’ll show you the working. The full shape is here →
01
campaigns · the biggest share
02
tools & education · free forever
03
school packs · no licence, no fee
the origin
it started as a record. it still is one.
ctrl+drift+delete. Fifteen tracks. One man’s slow logout from his own life, by echo//exit, an anonymous artist — no face, no name. We’re not telling you a record prevents anything. All net profits go to the charity, and it lands around Mental Health Awareness Week 2027. Read the whole story →
We check our own claims first.
The line we started with — ask twice — turned out to have no study behind it, so we changed it. See the rest of what we’ve corrected →
if you know who wrote it, it’s about him.
if you don’t, it’s about you.
your bit
pick the one that’s you.
Four doors. One of them takes about ninety seconds.
01
if you’ve got someone in mind
You don’t need us for this. Learn the six moves, then go and be annoying about it — twice, not ten times. If you only do one thing here, do move six: put a reminder in your phone for Tuesday.
02
if you want to know when things happen
The album, the school packs, the live moment. One email a month at most, and we’ll send you the six moves on one page immediately so it’s worth something straight away.
03
if you make things, or write about them
Artists, producers, journalists, people with an audience and a reason to care. A record, an anonymous artist, an unfinished idea — come in early enough to shape it.
04
if you can fund it, teach it or open a door
Funders, schools, employers, clubs, first donors. There are six founding roles open and none of them is a logo slot — each one is a real job with a name on it. We’re pre-registration and we’ll show you exactly where the money would go and what we can’t yet prove. We’d rather have your questions than your patience.
get the emails
One a month, roughly. The album, the school packs, the live moment. We’ll send you the six moves on one page straight away, so this is worth something before we ever ask you for anything.
You’re in. Check your inbox — the six moves are already on their way. If they’re not there in five minutes, look in spam, where good intentions go.